Remember when you were a kid and your biggest decision was picking out a candy bar at the store? Those shiny wrappers still catch our eye today, but not all candy bars are created equal. I’ve tried them all – from the basic chocolate bars to the fancy stuff with weird ingredients – to help you spend your money on the ones worth eating. Here’s my honest take on which candy bars to skip and which ones to stock up on.
Hersheys milk chocolate hits rock bottom
I know this might hurt some feelings, but regular Hershey’s milk chocolate bars are just not good anymore. The chocolate tastes weirdly sour and waxy, nothing like the creamy chocolate bars you can get these days. When you break off a piece, it doesn’t even snap cleanly – it kind of crumbles in a way that good chocolate shouldn’t.
The problem is that Hershey’s only needs 10% cocoa to legally call their product chocolate. This explains why it doesn’t melt smoothly in your mouth and leaves behind a weird coating on your tongue. Plus, there’s way too much sugar trying to cover up the fact that the chocolate itself isn’t great.
Even the smell is off – it’s got this sour milk scent that’s nothing like the rich chocolate aroma you get from better quality bars. Breaking off a piece feels disappointing rather than exciting. The chocolate is so brittle it sometimes shatters instead of breaking along those little rectangles like it’s supposed to.
If you’re craving plain milk chocolate, you can do so much better. This basic bar hasn’t changed with the times, while other chocolate makers have seriously stepped up their game. The chocolate is grainy, the sweetness is overwhelming, and honestly, it’s just not worth the calories when there are tons of better options out there.
Payday needs more than just nuts
Payday bars are different from most candy bars because they skip the chocolate entirely. Instead, you get a bunch of peanuts stuck to a super sweet caramel center. While that might sound good in theory, the reality is pretty disappointing. The caramel is so sticky it could pull out your fillings, and the salt from the peanuts just makes you thirsty.
Some people love PayDay because it’s unique, but the whole thing is just too one-note. Every bite is exactly the same – there’s no variety in texture except for the crunch of peanuts and the pull of caramel. It’s like eating a handful of nuts stuck together with honey, except not as good as that actually sounds.
The center of the bar is this weird, pale cream-colored stuff that doesn’t really taste like anything except sugar. It’s supposed to be nougat, but it’s so sweet that any other flavor gets completely lost. The peanuts on the outside are decent quality, but they’re fighting a losing battle against that sugary core.
Without chocolate to balance things out, this candy bar feels incomplete. The peanuts fall off everywhere when you bite into it, making it a messy snack that’s not worth the cleanup. If you’re avoiding chocolate, there are better options out there that don’t feel like they’re missing a key ingredient.
Butterfinger crumbles under pressure
Butterfingers have a unique problem – they’re almost impossible to eat without making a mess. That orange flaky center might look cool, but it shatters everywhere as soon as you take a bite. The pieces are like little shards that get stuck in your teeth and take forever to dissolve. It’s not the most pleasant eating experience.
The texture is described as crispety and crunchety, but honestly, it’s more like eating peanut butter flavored glass. The chocolate coating is thin and waxy, doing nothing to help contain the mess. Plus, the artificial peanut butter flavor is so strong it overshadows everything else.
What’s really frustrating is how the bar sticks to your teeth. Long after you’ve finished eating, you’re still finding little bits of that orange filling stuck in your molars. The sweetness is also intense – it’s like they’re trying to hide the artificial taste with sugar, but it doesn’t really work.
While some people swear by Butterfingers, especially crushed up in ice cream, eating one straight isn’t great. The chocolate-to-filling ratio is way off, with barely enough chocolate to contain the flaky center. It’s more like eating candy dust held together by wishes and food coloring than a proper candy bar.
Heath bar breaks hearts and teeth
Heath bars sound amazing on paper – milk chocolate covering crunchy toffee. Simple and classic, right? Wrong. The reality is a super hard slab that could chip a tooth if you’re not careful. The toffee isn’t the nice, buttery kind that melts in your mouth. Instead, it’s more like hardened sugar that requires serious jaw strength to break down.
The chocolate coating is disappointing, with a waxy texture that doesn’t add much to the experience. It’s thin and seems to be there just to hold the toffee together rather than actually contribute to the flavor. The toffee itself lacks that rich, caramelized taste you’d expect.
The biggest issue is the consistency – sometimes you get a bar that’s slightly softer and actually enjoyable, but most times it’s like biting into a piece of candy that’s been forgotten in a freezer for months. The toffee can be so hard it barely seems edible, and it definitely isn’t enjoyable.
Even when you do manage to break off a piece, the eating experience isn’t great. The toffee doesn’t melt smoothly – instead, it breaks into sharp little pieces that can feel dangerous in your mouth. For a candy bar that’s supposed to be a simple pleasure, it sure causes a lot of stress.
Milky Way misses the mark
Milky Way bars have too much going on, but somehow still manage to be boring. The nougat is weirdly spongy, and the caramel is so sweet it makes your teeth hurt. The chocolate coating is thin and doesn’t really taste like much. It’s like they tried to combine too many elements without making sure any of them were actually good.
The texture is particularly problematic – everything is soft and kind of mushy, with nothing to break up the monotony. The nougat and caramel blend together so much that you can’t really tell where one ends and the other begins. It’s just a sugar bomb without any interesting flavors to back it up.
The proportions are all wrong too. There’s way too much nougat compared to the caramel and chocolate. It’s like eating a big chunk of sweet foam with a hint of other flavors. The caramel layer is so thin it gets lost in all that nougat, and what’s there is more sweet than rich or buttery.
Each bite feels exactly the same as the last, which gets boring really fast. There’s no complexity or depth to the flavor – just straight sugar in different forms. Even the name is confusing since there’s nothing particularly special or cosmic about this candy bar. It’s more like a Brown Dwarf than a Milky Way.
Snickers stumbles in the middle ground
Snickers is probably the most famous candy bar out there, but that doesn’t make it the best. It’s got peanuts, caramel, and nougat covered in milk chocolate – sounds great, right? But when you actually eat one, it’s kind of a letdown. The peanuts are tiny and often soft instead of crunchy, and there’s not enough caramel to balance out all that nougat.
The peanut butter version is actually better than the original, which says something about the regular recipe. The standard Snickers has this weird balance where no single ingredient really shines. The chocolate is average, the caramel gets lost, and the peanuts are more about texture than flavor.
Another issue is how filling these bars are – they’re marketed as satisfying hunger, but they’re so dense it’s hard to enjoy the flavors. The nougat is particularly heavy, sitting in your stomach like a rock. And despite having several ingredients, every bite tastes pretty much the same.
The whole thing is also extremely sweet, with sugar being the main flavor you get. Fresh ones are okay, but if the bar sits around for a while, the peanuts get soft and the whole thing becomes a mess. It’s not terrible, but for something so popular, it should be better.
Kit Kat crunches into the top spots
Kit Kat starts to turn things around with its simple but effective combination of crispy wafers and milk chocolate. The beauty of Kit Kat is in its straightforward approach – it’s not trying to do too much, just giving you a nice crunch wrapped in chocolate. The wafers are light and crispy, making it a more enjoyable snack than heavier candy bars.
While the chocolate isn’t fancy, it works well with the wafers to create a balanced bite. The layers of wafer provide a satisfying crunch without being too hard or brittle. Plus, the design of the bar lets you easily break off pieces to share or save for later – though good luck having enough willpower for that.
The ratio of chocolate to wafer is pretty much perfect – enough chocolate to taste it properly, but not so much that it overwhelms the crispy texture. The wafers themselves have a subtle sweetness that complements the chocolate instead of competing with it. Even the sound of breaking off a piece is satisfying.
These bars are also versatile – they’re great on their own, dunked in coffee, or even frozen. The basic milk chocolate version is good, but they’ve spawned tons of interesting flavors that actually work. The consistency is reliable too – you pretty much always know what you’re getting with a Kit Kat.
Take 5 takes the cake
Take 5 is what happens when someone puts all the good stuff in one candy bar and somehow makes it work. It’s got pretzels, peanut butter, caramel, and peanuts all covered in chocolate. That might sound like too much, but the combination is amazing. Each ingredient adds something different to the mix without overwhelming the others.
The mix of sweet and salty is perfect, with the pretzels adding a crunch that other candy bars miss. The peanut butter isn’t as overwhelming as in a Butterfinger, and the caramel provides just enough chew without making your jaw tired. Plus, the chocolate actually tastes good and holds everything together nicely.
What makes Take 5 special is how all the textures work together. You get crunch from the pretzels and peanuts, smoothness from the peanut butter, chewiness from the caramel, and that melty chocolate coating. Each bite is interesting because the ingredients hit your tongue in different orders, creating new flavor combinations.
The size is perfect too – it’s substantial enough to satisfy but not so big that you feel overwhelmed. The layers stay intact when you bite into it, unlike some candy bars that fall apart completely. It’s clear that whoever created this bar actually thought about how people would eat it, not just how to cram in as many ingredients as possible.
Twix makes every bite count
Twix keeps things simple with just three ingredients – cookie, caramel, and chocolate – but manages to create something special. The cookie base stays crispy even though it’s covered in caramel, giving you a nice crunch with every bite. And unlike some other bars, Twix actually bothers to make their caramel taste like caramel instead of just sugar.
The chocolate-to-cookie ratio is spot-on, striking a perfect balance between the crispy base and sweet coating. The caramel layer is thin enough to not overwhelm but thick enough to add that wonderful chewy texture. Plus, getting two fingers in each package means you can save one for later or share with a friend.
Another great thing about Twix is its consistency – they rarely have quality control issues like some other candy bars. The cookie is always crunchy, the caramel isn’t too hard or too soft, and the chocolate coating is evenly distributed. You know exactly what you’re getting every time you open a package.
The size of each finger is also perfect for snacking. It’s not so big that it becomes a whole meal, but it’s satisfying enough to curb your sweet tooth. The straight edges make it easy to bite without making a mess, and the layers stay together instead of falling apart like some other layered candy bars.
Tonys Chocolonely brings premium quality
Tony’s Chocolonely stands out by focusing on quality ingredients and ethical production. Their chocolate is rich and creamy, melting smoothly without any waxy texture. The pretzel toffee version adds the perfect amount of crunch and salt to balance the sweetness of the chocolate. It’s like they took everything good about candy bars and made it better.
This bar ranks at the top because it doesn’t cut corners on ingredients. The chocolate actually tastes like chocolate should – rich, smooth, and not overly sweet. The toffee pieces are properly buttery with a nice caramel flavor, and the pretzels add a satisfying crunch and hit of salt.
The bar is thick and substantial, breaking with a satisfying snap that good chocolate should have. The pretzel pieces are distributed evenly throughout, so every bite has the right mix of textures. Even the presentation is nice – the packaging is colorful and fun, and the chocolate is divided into uneven pieces that make sharing more interesting.
While it’s pricier than your average candy bar, you’re getting what you pay for – real chocolate made with care and attention to detail. It’s proof that candy bars don’t have to be packed with artificial ingredients and overwhelming sweetness to be satisfying. Sometimes simple ingredients done right are all you need.
So there you have it – from basic bars that miss the mark to premium chocolate that shows what candy bars can be. The best ones aren’t always the most complicated or the ones with the most ingredients. They’re the ones that focus on quality and actually think about how all the pieces work together. Whether you prefer something simple like a Kit Kat or want to try a fancy Tony’s Chocolonely, there’s definitely a candy bar out there for everyone.
